July 29 (this one is a doozy.I'm cringing)

I went to Mic Mac with D and R today. 

Trevor was there. 

I haven’t seen him in over than a month. He actually paid attention to me. He noticed that we were there. I want to go to the dance tomorrow night. Doug said that everyone was going so that may mean Trevor is going too. I pray that I”m allowed to go to this week.

Tonight I told R how I feel about A Ha . My love and adoration of their music has turned to something much deeper. It’s unexplainable. She understands me, R does, and I’m on my way to understanding her.

At her house, we watched the last part of Mistral’s Daughter. 

There was a girl, Fauve, she was me. 

She was the way I want to be. Her clothing, her hair, her manner, everything. 

Her love of the man she loved. I want that. She was the exact duplicate of me, or the way I will be. 

She even lived in France..

I dream everyday of that wonderful countryside, where Morten Harket and I shall marry. 

And die. 

I want to be with him. There, in France. 

I even love the name Fauve Lunel. I want that. That’s all I want. For the future. I’m happy with now.